Friday, August 11, 2017

Pardon Our Dust

Life has taken us in many different directions... 
We promise to come back soon with more housewife goodies 
after we take some time off and make some changes.

If you would like to volunteer for a future post, give us a shout!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Crystal Liechty: A Mom's Crazy Journey Inspires A Comic Strip

When Crystal told our group of friends about a comic strip based off her "interesting" moments with what crazy things her kids say/do, I totally laughed at the sample one she showed us! If you have ever read any of her hilarious Facebook posts about the conversations they have, you would be to! Here she is to talk a little about the woes of motherhood, and how it helped her to find her way into the comic strip world. Take it away, Crystal!!

First off, thank you to the Really Real Housewives for letting me come visit this blog!

I’m here to talk about how I have fun despite the trials of being a mom. There’s two things you should know about me before I get started:

1. I’m a yellow personality. I thrive on fun and excitement. If I don’t have something to look forward to, I fall into a bit of a depression. So I chase “fun” like it’s my job and sometimes that means I do too much and go too hard.

2. My third child, Hazel, broke me. My two older ones were pretty easy babies (I realize now). They were cheerful and didn’t mind my nonstop, chase-every-moment lifestyle. They were also well-behaved enough that I could feel relatively secure in my mom skills. But then Hazel came along. Every opinion I had about myself as a mother; every plan I made; every hope and dream I held for the future – she shat on all of that. Firmly and intentionally, while maintaining eye-contact.

Once Hazel came along, I realized that I wasn’t in charge anymore and my previous priorities would have to be seriously rearranged.

No, I can’t show up at church with perfectly coifed children. You’re lucky they’re wearing pants right now.

No, I can’t go on an extended family camping trip. I have no plans to leave my house for the next five years.

No, I won’t join you in scoffing at that mom with the out-of-control toddler. My youngest just threatened to kill me with a pillow. I have no room to judge anyone.

I make light of it, but the reality was hard. By the time Hazel was two, I was in a dark place. Really, real dark. I had some hard thinking to do about who I was and what my limits were.

I made the choice to keep going, to keep trying, to keep failing, to keep trying again. My vision of being this awesome mother had been totally shattered. I mean, straight to pieces. But in the end, it was a good thing. Instead of momming like the magazines and the commercials, I started momming based on what I was actually capable of doing. Instead of looking outward and mimicking the moms that seemed to have it all together, I realized I couldn't -- literally couldn't -- keep up if all my goals for myself were based on what other people were doing and thinking. I had to get down on my rusty knees, beg for Heavenly help and accept that I would always be just a bit of a hot mess.

Once I did all that, something amazing happened. I started having fun again. What can you do but laugh when your four year old calls the doctor a “bastard” for giving her a shot? He said he would count to three but then did it on two. It was kind of a dick move.

And when your seven year old repeats a very embarrassing health problem you’re having to a table full of church friends, you can only shrug and say, “Don't worry, it's not contagious.”

And when your ten year old asks why his friend’s penis is so much bigger than his, you hunker down and have a conversation about anatomy. Because why not? I’ve been to the edge and back. I’ve got nothing left to fear.

I used to be so scared of the judgments and the humiliation of letting people see how flawed I was. But the absolute worst happened (someone called the cops on me because Hazel wouldn’t stop crying and they thought I was abusing her) and happened (AJ told me a horrific tale of playground bullying so I confronted the mother, all froth and anger, only to find out that about 80 percent of it had been exaggerated or outright made up and my daughter was actually the one bullying) and happened (after my first year of homeschooling, I took Griff in for a reading test and found out he was well below grade level). And I lived.

So I guess that’s my big secret: understand that being a mom is ugly business and any moms who act otherwise are probably faking it. Or they haven't been blessed with their own Hazel yet. Once you’re secure in this reality, you can enjoy the particular bit of madness you’ve been given.

And then you can turn it into a comic like I did! And I named it after my general plea to the world: Please Don't Call Child Services.

Crystal Liechty is the mastermind behind the Please Don’t Call Child Services webtoon, which details the always funny and often inappropriate hijinx involved in homeschooling three mischievous children. If you’ve been to college lately, you might have seen one of her essays in the Elements of Arguments textbook (Macmillan Press). When not homeschooling or torturing college students with argumentative essays, Crystal can be found watching Korean dramas, teaching herself Kpop dances or in general working as an unofficial ambassador for South Korean culture. Find out more about her online comic by visiting her official Facebook page or blog.

Monday, May 15, 2017

10 #Tips for a #HappyLife - Be Thankful

This is what I'm most thankful for...

We all have problems to deal with, no matter where we come from. Concentrating on the things we have to fix, we often forget and take for granted the parts of our lives that are working properly! If we could refocus away from the negative once in a while to be thankful--for what we have, for the positive things, for the things going right--the world would be a brighter place.

Negative nags at our attention. Negative needs us to figure out a solution. Negative needles us to complain and criticize. There's too much negative out there these days.

Stop! Don't let negative consume you. Take a break and think about what you're thankful for. Remember what's good about your life.

It won't make the problems go away, but they will be more manageable with a new, positive outlook.

10 Tips for a Happy Life:
  1. Breathe
  2. Smile
  3. Be Thankful
  4. ...
Thanks for listening! Hope you moms had a marvelous Mother's Day!
Tara Tyler - The Lazy Housewife

Friday, May 12, 2017

Water Splatter Art

When my kids were little, they loved doing crafts. That's almost hard to believe now that they are all teens and grown men. 
Believe it or not, there was a time when they got as excited over the craft caddie as they did over pizza boxes.  

One of their favorite summer time crafts was water color splatter art. 

It's a craft that's so easy and great for a rainy day. 

On regular printer paper, let them paint a picture with water color paint. 

Allow to dry, then crumble like you're going to throw it in the trash. Yep, just wad it up in a ball. They can even bat it around for a bit, though if they're like mine, that will mean broken furniture. 

Put the art in a folder and on the next rainy day (a warm one, but without thunder and lightning!) take the water colors out and allow the rain drops to splatter them. 

Lay out on a table covered with a towel (so they don't stick) and allow to dry. 

After they dry, they are softened and even the oddest paintings can become abstract works of art. 

Did you know that most colored pencils work like paint if you dip them in water? 

Sunday is Mother's Day, so...

Friday, May 5, 2017

Souper Easy

I love Italian wedding soup, you know the spinach-loaded soup with meatballs and tiny bits of pasta? Delicious. I especially love it when I can get it from an Italian restaurant, because to make it at home can be a lot of work. The meatballs alone can take an hour, not to mention chopping the onions and garlic for the broth.

But I have an easy cheat for a soup that is very much like Italian wedding soup. Maybe we could call this cheater version American Live-Together-Avoid-the-Hassle soup.

At the grocery store, grab the following:

Add the whole bag of spinach to a pot with enough water to cover all the leaves. Add a packet of the onion soup. Mix then cook on low on the stove top.

Bake the meatballs in the oven on a cookie sheet and set aside.

Once the spinach is softened, probably about an hour, add a half cup of the orzo. Boil for approximately 10 minutes or until it is softened.

Once the orzo is softened, add the cooked meatballs and serve.

So easy and delicious.

Pair that with Ashley's Boozy Beer Bread and you have a dinner your family will think you broke a sweat over, but only took minutes to prep.
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